I am, or should I say "was" a fan of Kanye West. While his obnoxious out-bursts did get on my nerves, I was willing to just "move-on" because I enjoyed his music. However, his antics at last nights MTV Video Awards went way beyond O.O.C., even for Kanye's standards.
It's one thing to have an opinion, and it's another to get up on stage and act like a complete ass. Taylor Swift won the award fair and square. The awards are based on popular vote, meaning fans voted for the winners. I think Kanye conveniently over looked that. I agree that Beyonce's video rocks, but THE VOTERS, think otherwise. Hey Krazy...this is why people VOTE.
I felt very sorry for Taylor Swift. Her moment was ruined, and she will never get it back. I am pleased Beyonce tried to fix it, but her moment will be forever shadowed by "Krazy's" antics. If that were me up on that stage I would have given him a swift kick in the ass and told him to get the "F" off of my stage!
I would like to take this Freedom of Speech moment and pose this question. What if the tables were turned? What if Beyonce would have won, and someone like Justin Timberlake would have gotten up on stage and done the same thing, Krazy did? I would probably bet it would have been turned into a mega race issue. I can see Al Sharpton and the gang getting in front of every news affiliate camera demanding an apology and calling for a ban of the MTV Awards due to racism.
I am appalled that the producers of the show did not ask Kanye to leave. Why is Krazy Kanye allowed to continue with such behavior? I read one blog that sited Kanye as "being on the Hennesy"...ok, being intoxicated is still no excuse for what he did. Maybe he was trying to impress Beyonce? I remember one year Axl Rose was obliterated, and began shouting profanities about Motley Crue. They immediately cut off his acceptance speech and went straight to a commercial. But not Krazy...the network didn't dare cut him off. It's sick, and I'm sick of the double standard.
I love how Krazy issued an "immediate apology" on his blog. Uh, Ok...I'm sure half the people that were watching his ridiculous behavior, don't even read his blog. And, why issue an apology. If he didn't mean what he said, he wouldn't have done it in the first place. That whole, "issue an apology" is just a stupid PR thing that even further disgusts me. Krazy needs some serious therapy, and quite possibly needs some serious medication. Here is Krazy's apology...it doesn't sound much like an apology to me. IT sounds like a manic outburst: "I'm sooooo sorry to Taylor Swift and her fans and her mom. I spoke to her mother right after and she said the same thing my mother would've said. She is very talented! I like the lyrics about being a cheerleader and she's in the bleachers! I'm in the wrong for going on stage and taking away from her moment!" West wrote.
"Beyonce's video was the best of this decade!!!! I'm sorry to my fans if I let you guys down!!!! I'm sorry to my friends at MTV. I will apologize to Taylor 2mrw. Welcome to the real world!!!! Everybody wanna booooo me but I'm a fan of real pop culture!!! No disrespect but we watchin' the show at the crib right now cause ... well you know!!!! I'm still happy for Taylor!!!! Boooyaaawwww!!!! You are very very talented!!! I gave my awards to Outkast when they deserved it over me ... That's what it is!!!!!!! I'm not crazy y'all, i'm just real. Sorry for that!!! I really feel bad for Taylor and I'm sincerely sorry!!! Much respect!!!!!"
On, one final note, why the hell is Krazy trying to look like P-Diddy? Just another reason he is
K-R-A-Z-Y!!!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
"Thrilled" by the King of Pop
I have to admit, I have mixed emotions about the death (and life) of Michael Jackson. I have put off blogging about him, because I found myself falling into the “I’m so sick of hearing about it” fan club.
But, today, as I watch the coverage of his memorial service in LA, I can’t help but to reflect on his musical career. No matter what your feelings about the King of Pop might be, I think we can all say without any doubt at all, that he was an extremely talented individual, who seemed to unfortunately succumb to a controversial life.
If I look at Michael Jackson, the artist, I am in complete awe of his raw talent. I will admit I am one of those who went onto ITunes and put together my own Michael Jackson playlist. His music is unbelievable, and his dancing is even more amazing. He was truly an icon of my generation. I can remember skating at Spinning Wheels to “Billy Jean” and “Thriller”. I thought I was so cool, because I could do the “Thriller” dance. I watched that damn video over and over again until I got it right. I’m also not scared one bit to admit that I could still but out freakishly demonic dance to this day.
When I look at the life of Michael Jackson, I try to remind myself that I am in no place to judge him. In fact, if I remember correctly he was found innocent of child molestation charges, by a 12-member jury of his peers. He was never found criminally guilty in a court of law. He was found guilty in the court of public opinion. I will admit, I thought he was a weird bird, and I would never let my own child attend a sleep-over at the Neverland Ranch. His physical appearance over the years did become quite disturbing, and sad, but it was his life, and his face. I certainly can’t say that he did what he was accused of doing. I wasn’t there, I only followed the media coverage….which we all know is always the truth *wink wink*.
What I’m trying to convey, is that no matter what your personal feelings about Michael Jackson are, the FACT is that he was a talented artist, who brought all of us music that in someway touched each of our lives. Whatever he did or didn’t do to children is now between him and God. The day he drew his last breath was the day that he faced the only person in this universe capable of judging any of us. He was very obviously a lost soul, who became even more lost as time went on. He was, reportedly, abusing a very strong medication called Diprovan (Propofol), which in the ER and ICU we refer to as Milk of Amnesia! Can you imagine?
So, for what it’s worth, I certainly will not “miss” Michael Jackson and you won’t find me weeping over my Thriller album asking God, “Why?” But, I will still dance, sing, and listen to his music. And, the next time I am at a wedding reception and they play “Thriller”, I will bust out the dance, and be crowd will be thankful for it!
But, today, as I watch the coverage of his memorial service in LA, I can’t help but to reflect on his musical career. No matter what your feelings about the King of Pop might be, I think we can all say without any doubt at all, that he was an extremely talented individual, who seemed to unfortunately succumb to a controversial life.
If I look at Michael Jackson, the artist, I am in complete awe of his raw talent. I will admit I am one of those who went onto ITunes and put together my own Michael Jackson playlist. His music is unbelievable, and his dancing is even more amazing. He was truly an icon of my generation. I can remember skating at Spinning Wheels to “Billy Jean” and “Thriller”. I thought I was so cool, because I could do the “Thriller” dance. I watched that damn video over and over again until I got it right. I’m also not scared one bit to admit that I could still but out freakishly demonic dance to this day.
When I look at the life of Michael Jackson, I try to remind myself that I am in no place to judge him. In fact, if I remember correctly he was found innocent of child molestation charges, by a 12-member jury of his peers. He was never found criminally guilty in a court of law. He was found guilty in the court of public opinion. I will admit, I thought he was a weird bird, and I would never let my own child attend a sleep-over at the Neverland Ranch. His physical appearance over the years did become quite disturbing, and sad, but it was his life, and his face. I certainly can’t say that he did what he was accused of doing. I wasn’t there, I only followed the media coverage….which we all know is always the truth *wink wink*.
What I’m trying to convey, is that no matter what your personal feelings about Michael Jackson are, the FACT is that he was a talented artist, who brought all of us music that in someway touched each of our lives. Whatever he did or didn’t do to children is now between him and God. The day he drew his last breath was the day that he faced the only person in this universe capable of judging any of us. He was very obviously a lost soul, who became even more lost as time went on. He was, reportedly, abusing a very strong medication called Diprovan (Propofol), which in the ER and ICU we refer to as Milk of Amnesia! Can you imagine?
So, for what it’s worth, I certainly will not “miss” Michael Jackson and you won’t find me weeping over my Thriller album asking God, “Why?” But, I will still dance, sing, and listen to his music. And, the next time I am at a wedding reception and they play “Thriller”, I will bust out the dance, and be crowd will be thankful for it!
Friday, June 19, 2009
Smoking Crack & Coat Hangers
I can no longer keep quiet about the whole “nationalize our healthcare” movement. I’m not sure what is worse, people who know absolutely squat about healthcare are making huge changes to it; or the fact that most of those people who are making the changes are lawyers.
Here’s the reality. One of the reasons healthcare costs are so high is because no one holds the patients accountable for their own healthcare. Physicians are forced to practice defensive medicine because society has gotten out of control with lawsuits. Medicine is not an exact science, and doctors are not super-human: they are human.
Consider this scenario: A 17 year-old male walks into the ER complaining of chest pain. He appears healthy and has no health problems. He fails to tell the doctor that he has been hitting up the crack pipe and snorting massive lines of cocaine for the past 5 hours. The patient tells him that the chest pain came on suddenly, he has shortness of breath, and he has some tingling in his arms and hands. The patient appears anxious, but otherwise his assessment is negative. The patient does tell the doctor that he has been stressed out lately, but still fails to mention his crack use. The patient’s vital signs are stable, besides some mild tachycardia (fast heart rate), and a mildly elevated blood pressure. There is no family history of cardiac problems, and the patient has no medical problems. He does not take any medications. The physician asks the patient if he has done any illicit drugs and the patient tells him “no”. Based on this interaction, the physician concludes that the patient is likely having a panic attack, and is having some anxiety. He does order an ECG just to rule out anything acute, but does not order a full cardiac work-up which includes labs, x-rays, etc. Before the ECG gets done, the patient suddenly codes (heart stops, stops breathing), and the patient can not be resuscitated.
So, who is at fault? Well, in this case the physician, the hospital, and the nurses involved in the case get slapped with a lovely lawsuit. They called it medical negligence. Say what??? Hmmm, it’s funny that no one questioned why the patient lied to the doctor and failed to tell him about his drug use. This little piece of information would have drastically changed the course of treatment. Sadly, these types of scenarios are what has forced many doctors to practice medicine as if each and every patient is going to sue them. They feel that they have to order tests that they probably don’t need to order. They feel if they don’t run them and something happens, they will get sued. This non-essential testing is a minute cause that driven up healthcare costs.
Then, you have the insurance companies who attempt to dictate to the physicians how they practice medicine. If a physician orders a test that is non-essential, but he orders it anyway, he runs the risk that the insurance company won’t pay because it wasn’t “medically necessary”. They are damned if they do, and damned if they don’t.
Second. It TOTALLY PISSES ME OFF when people receive government assistance and they abuse it. Johnny Doe receives Medicaid (state government funded healthcare) benefits. He has been told he has high blood pressure. He gets a prescription for high blood pressure pills. He doesn’t get them filled because he says he doesn’t have any money. FYI: MOST people who receive Medicaid benefits do not pay any more than $5 for any medication, while those of us who pay for private insurance can pay co-pays up to $75. Anyway, Johnny says he doesn’t have any money, but he just got a new I-Phone, and smokes a carton of cigarettes per week. Johnny’s kidneys eventually fail because of his un-controlled high blood pressure that he refused to take responsibility for. Now, Johnny is on hemo-dialysis 3 times a week for the rest of his life! So, instead of paying $5/month to fill his prescription, he now costs Thousands per week (at the tax payers expense) to take care of.
Third. (I swear this is not about me, but it did happen) Jane is pregnant. She is about 1 week away from her due date. Jane just can’t take it anymore. She and her mother come up with a plan to use a wire coat hanger to break her bag of water in order to induce labor. Jane is not successful. I think we can all agree she is not the sharpest tool in the shed. Wow! Now Jane has raging infection, and her unborn child is at risk for complications. Hmmmm. Now instead of having a normal delivery, she has complications that triple the cost of the care she will require.
Let’s nationalize healthcare and make people even less responsible than they already are! It’s not rocket science, it’s medicine. It’s not exact, there are advances, and there are set-backs. There are break-throughs and there are break-downs. There is not an easy solution to the problem, but nationalizing the system is not the answer. If people took a common sense approach to their own healthcare, perhaps this would help. If people made an informed decision to purchase their blood pressure medication, instead of crack, then we wouldn’t have such an issue.
Mr. President Obama: Quit chastising the physicians for how they practice medicine, and please don’t threaten them. Perhaps you should tell Johnny to say “no” to crack and “yes” to Norvasc! Tell Jane coat hangers are used for hanging coats, and should not be used as a tool to induce labor. Finally, tell that dead young man that smoked crack and snorted coke for 5 hrs that he is dead because of mistakes that he made, not mistakes that the healthcare team made. Say no to Crack!
Here’s the reality. One of the reasons healthcare costs are so high is because no one holds the patients accountable for their own healthcare. Physicians are forced to practice defensive medicine because society has gotten out of control with lawsuits. Medicine is not an exact science, and doctors are not super-human: they are human.
Consider this scenario: A 17 year-old male walks into the ER complaining of chest pain. He appears healthy and has no health problems. He fails to tell the doctor that he has been hitting up the crack pipe and snorting massive lines of cocaine for the past 5 hours. The patient tells him that the chest pain came on suddenly, he has shortness of breath, and he has some tingling in his arms and hands. The patient appears anxious, but otherwise his assessment is negative. The patient does tell the doctor that he has been stressed out lately, but still fails to mention his crack use. The patient’s vital signs are stable, besides some mild tachycardia (fast heart rate), and a mildly elevated blood pressure. There is no family history of cardiac problems, and the patient has no medical problems. He does not take any medications. The physician asks the patient if he has done any illicit drugs and the patient tells him “no”. Based on this interaction, the physician concludes that the patient is likely having a panic attack, and is having some anxiety. He does order an ECG just to rule out anything acute, but does not order a full cardiac work-up which includes labs, x-rays, etc. Before the ECG gets done, the patient suddenly codes (heart stops, stops breathing), and the patient can not be resuscitated.
So, who is at fault? Well, in this case the physician, the hospital, and the nurses involved in the case get slapped with a lovely lawsuit. They called it medical negligence. Say what??? Hmmm, it’s funny that no one questioned why the patient lied to the doctor and failed to tell him about his drug use. This little piece of information would have drastically changed the course of treatment. Sadly, these types of scenarios are what has forced many doctors to practice medicine as if each and every patient is going to sue them. They feel that they have to order tests that they probably don’t need to order. They feel if they don’t run them and something happens, they will get sued. This non-essential testing is a minute cause that driven up healthcare costs.
Then, you have the insurance companies who attempt to dictate to the physicians how they practice medicine. If a physician orders a test that is non-essential, but he orders it anyway, he runs the risk that the insurance company won’t pay because it wasn’t “medically necessary”. They are damned if they do, and damned if they don’t.
Second. It TOTALLY PISSES ME OFF when people receive government assistance and they abuse it. Johnny Doe receives Medicaid (state government funded healthcare) benefits. He has been told he has high blood pressure. He gets a prescription for high blood pressure pills. He doesn’t get them filled because he says he doesn’t have any money. FYI: MOST people who receive Medicaid benefits do not pay any more than $5 for any medication, while those of us who pay for private insurance can pay co-pays up to $75. Anyway, Johnny says he doesn’t have any money, but he just got a new I-Phone, and smokes a carton of cigarettes per week. Johnny’s kidneys eventually fail because of his un-controlled high blood pressure that he refused to take responsibility for. Now, Johnny is on hemo-dialysis 3 times a week for the rest of his life! So, instead of paying $5/month to fill his prescription, he now costs Thousands per week (at the tax payers expense) to take care of.
Third. (I swear this is not about me, but it did happen) Jane is pregnant. She is about 1 week away from her due date. Jane just can’t take it anymore. She and her mother come up with a plan to use a wire coat hanger to break her bag of water in order to induce labor. Jane is not successful. I think we can all agree she is not the sharpest tool in the shed. Wow! Now Jane has raging infection, and her unborn child is at risk for complications. Hmmmm. Now instead of having a normal delivery, she has complications that triple the cost of the care she will require.
Let’s nationalize healthcare and make people even less responsible than they already are! It’s not rocket science, it’s medicine. It’s not exact, there are advances, and there are set-backs. There are break-throughs and there are break-downs. There is not an easy solution to the problem, but nationalizing the system is not the answer. If people took a common sense approach to their own healthcare, perhaps this would help. If people made an informed decision to purchase their blood pressure medication, instead of crack, then we wouldn’t have such an issue.
Mr. President Obama: Quit chastising the physicians for how they practice medicine, and please don’t threaten them. Perhaps you should tell Johnny to say “no” to crack and “yes” to Norvasc! Tell Jane coat hangers are used for hanging coats, and should not be used as a tool to induce labor. Finally, tell that dead young man that smoked crack and snorted coke for 5 hrs that he is dead because of mistakes that he made, not mistakes that the healthcare team made. Say no to Crack!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Jon and Kate: Give Me A Break!
I have to admit that I am a reality TV show junkie. My most favorite reality TV show at the moment is 18 Kids and Counting, which airs on Tuesday nights on TLC. The show is based around the Duggar Family. The Duggar’s are a considered Independent Baptist that is associated with the Conservative Christian movement called Quiverfull. In a nutshell: Quiverfull is when families try to have as many children as possible and do not use any birth control. They just have as many children as "God intends them to have.
I find this family fascinating. All of their children’s’ name start with a “J”. Critics say they are a cult, led by their father Jim Bob (don’t let his name scare you). I say, they are just a conservative family who promotes Christ as the center of their family. I’m not sure what is really wrong with that? They don’t watch TV, and they regulate their children’s’ use of the internet, and their mother, Michelle, home schools them. I will admit when I first starting watching, the sheer site of their long hair, and long skirt fashions did remind me of one’s you might see on a polygamist compound in Utah, but they are pretty darn normal otherwise.
This brings me to my “pop off”. What the hell is with Jon and Kate, from Jon and Kate plus 8? Ok, I admit I watch this show too, but after watching the season premier last night, I am thoroughly disgusted with Posh Spice…er umm…I mean Kate, and probably will not continue to watch the show.
Seriously Kate, get a life. You have 8 happy and healthy children, 6 of which have made you very rich. Really? Really, are you going to let your so-called fame wreck your marriage and your family? I wanted to cry out in pain when I was watching her interview. She was turning on the tears, while at the same time saying, “I’m sorry, I don’t want to ruin my make-up.” Really? You want to ruin your marriage, but you don’t want to ruin your make-up?
Let’s not forget Jon. Jon is a complete douche bag! He didn’t even want to go through with the IVF that netted him 6 additional children, and he didn’t want to continue with another season of JK+8. BUT, douche-bag Jon obviously can’t say no to K- Spice. So, instead of standing up to her and saying, “No, I want to save my marriage”, he signs another contract for a cool $50, 000 per episode with TLC. At the same time he looks like a man that’s about to go over the edge. You have K-Spice on one side that has every hair in place, and make-up applied perfectly. Then you have D-B Jon, who looks like he just got out of bed and can’t even fathom the idea of combing his hair.
I especially love how K-Spice believes the Paparazzi follow her. She was telling her kids to hurry up because the Paparazzi where trailing them. You later see literally 3 people taking pictures of her. Duh, they were probably curious people you retard! Maybe now that she is allegedly having an affair with her bodyguard (does she really need a bodygaurd?), and Jon is out partying it up, the BIG P might be following them a little more closely. She is by far a celebrity, and I really wish she could get her big head out of her *ss, and realize what she is doing to her marriage and her family. Furthermore, I wish TLC would step-up to the plate and say, “this is not what WE signed up for” and cancel the damn show.
K-spice believes she has “fans” as she so eloquently stated. I think she said, “I love my fans, they are just so great” She more or less likes the fact that her "fans" have made her rich. Hey lady, get a grip on life! The only fans you should be concerned with are your true fans…..the one’s that look to you everyday for guidance and support. The one’s who count on you to be a good role-model, and to be a good mom. Those fans are priceless…those fans are your children.
I find this family fascinating. All of their children’s’ name start with a “J”. Critics say they are a cult, led by their father Jim Bob (don’t let his name scare you). I say, they are just a conservative family who promotes Christ as the center of their family. I’m not sure what is really wrong with that? They don’t watch TV, and they regulate their children’s’ use of the internet, and their mother, Michelle, home schools them. I will admit when I first starting watching, the sheer site of their long hair, and long skirt fashions did remind me of one’s you might see on a polygamist compound in Utah, but they are pretty darn normal otherwise.
This brings me to my “pop off”. What the hell is with Jon and Kate, from Jon and Kate plus 8? Ok, I admit I watch this show too, but after watching the season premier last night, I am thoroughly disgusted with Posh Spice…er umm…I mean Kate, and probably will not continue to watch the show.
Seriously Kate, get a life. You have 8 happy and healthy children, 6 of which have made you very rich. Really? Really, are you going to let your so-called fame wreck your marriage and your family? I wanted to cry out in pain when I was watching her interview. She was turning on the tears, while at the same time saying, “I’m sorry, I don’t want to ruin my make-up.” Really? You want to ruin your marriage, but you don’t want to ruin your make-up?
Let’s not forget Jon. Jon is a complete douche bag! He didn’t even want to go through with the IVF that netted him 6 additional children, and he didn’t want to continue with another season of JK+8. BUT, douche-bag Jon obviously can’t say no to K- Spice. So, instead of standing up to her and saying, “No, I want to save my marriage”, he signs another contract for a cool $50, 000 per episode with TLC. At the same time he looks like a man that’s about to go over the edge. You have K-Spice on one side that has every hair in place, and make-up applied perfectly. Then you have D-B Jon, who looks like he just got out of bed and can’t even fathom the idea of combing his hair.
I especially love how K-Spice believes the Paparazzi follow her. She was telling her kids to hurry up because the Paparazzi where trailing them. You later see literally 3 people taking pictures of her. Duh, they were probably curious people you retard! Maybe now that she is allegedly having an affair with her bodyguard (does she really need a bodygaurd?), and Jon is out partying it up, the BIG P might be following them a little more closely. She is by far a celebrity, and I really wish she could get her big head out of her *ss, and realize what she is doing to her marriage and her family. Furthermore, I wish TLC would step-up to the plate and say, “this is not what WE signed up for” and cancel the damn show.
K-spice believes she has “fans” as she so eloquently stated. I think she said, “I love my fans, they are just so great” She more or less likes the fact that her "fans" have made her rich. Hey lady, get a grip on life! The only fans you should be concerned with are your true fans…..the one’s that look to you everyday for guidance and support. The one’s who count on you to be a good role-model, and to be a good mom. Those fans are priceless…those fans are your children.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
When Pigs Fly
It seems everyone is freaking out about the Swine Flu. I don’t know if it is more disturbing that this “pandemic” has been blown completely out of proportion, or that the federal government wants everyone to refer to it as the N1H1 virus. According to the “big G” calling it Swine Flu is insensitive to the pigs.
Perhaps I am just not over excited about the Swine Flu. If people just stick some basic hygiene and common sense practices, then there isn’t anything to worry about. Nearly 22,000 people die per year from Influenza, better known as “The Flu”. That injection that we all get suckered into every fall is supposed to protect us from the newest strain of the virus, but most of the time one will end up getting a strain that wasn’t covered in the shot.
What about all those people in Mexico that have died from the Swine…er...um I mean...N1H1 virus? In my opinion people have also forgotten that Mexico is not the most developed country on the planet, and their healthcare system isn’t known for being extraordinary.
When I think of the Mexican Healthcare System, I think of black market drugs (you know, the stuff that requires a prescription in the US, but you can by with some cash and no Rx in Mexico), and cheap gastric by-pass and lap-band surgery. That’s right, if you have cash, you can get whatever you want in Mexico. Furthermore, Mexico isn’t exactly known for its strict regulations when it comes to protecting its people.
Does everyone also realize that when someone goes to the bathroom and doesn’t wash their hands, they end up spreading their fecal matter...aka...their poop…onto whatever they touch? Then, when you touch what they have touched, you get that same poop on your hands. After that, when you go eat your lunch, or open your soda can, or bite your finger nails (which is another blog subject that I will save for a later day), then you put their poop in your mouth. Isn’t that great? That’s how most people contract e-coli and other nasty bacteria that could kill them. But where is the big news story regarding that?
So, our infectious disease lesson for the day is: WASH YOUR HANDS, and don’t go kissing on the pigs!
Perhaps I am just not over excited about the Swine Flu. If people just stick some basic hygiene and common sense practices, then there isn’t anything to worry about. Nearly 22,000 people die per year from Influenza, better known as “The Flu”. That injection that we all get suckered into every fall is supposed to protect us from the newest strain of the virus, but most of the time one will end up getting a strain that wasn’t covered in the shot.
What about all those people in Mexico that have died from the Swine…er...um I mean...N1H1 virus? In my opinion people have also forgotten that Mexico is not the most developed country on the planet, and their healthcare system isn’t known for being extraordinary.
When I think of the Mexican Healthcare System, I think of black market drugs (you know, the stuff that requires a prescription in the US, but you can by with some cash and no Rx in Mexico), and cheap gastric by-pass and lap-band surgery. That’s right, if you have cash, you can get whatever you want in Mexico. Furthermore, Mexico isn’t exactly known for its strict regulations when it comes to protecting its people.
Does everyone also realize that when someone goes to the bathroom and doesn’t wash their hands, they end up spreading their fecal matter...aka...their poop…onto whatever they touch? Then, when you touch what they have touched, you get that same poop on your hands. After that, when you go eat your lunch, or open your soda can, or bite your finger nails (which is another blog subject that I will save for a later day), then you put their poop in your mouth. Isn’t that great? That’s how most people contract e-coli and other nasty bacteria that could kill them. But where is the big news story regarding that?
So, our infectious disease lesson for the day is: WASH YOUR HANDS, and don’t go kissing on the pigs!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Tip O' the Day
I am always looking for ways to save a few dollars. I was recently introduced to the most fabulous industry of re-sale and consignment shops. I knew that they existed, but I never shopped at one until recently. WOW…big $$$$$ savings to be found in these stores.
Has anyone else noticed how expensive it is to eat carry out food these days? We started doing the carryout thing instead of dining in at the restaurants just to save a few extra dollars. I’m not cheap or anything, but if I can save $5 or $10 dollars by cutting out the tip, then that is $5 or $10 extra dollars I have in my wallet.
However, I have recently had some disturbing experiences with the whole carry out thing. It seems like everyone wants a tip for everything these days. We placed a “curbside” to-go order the other night, and I went to pick it up. When I got there, I handed the girl my debit card. When I looked at the receipt I noticed there was a “tip” line. I, of course, put $0.00. I didn’t think the girl deserved a tip for handing me a bag of food. Besides, it wasn’t like they actually even brought it out to my car; I went in and picked it up. Plus, that was the whole point of carry out, was saving money on the tip.
I handed the receipt back to her, and she looked at me with intense disgust. How dare I not tip her 15%? I looked at her and said, “Is something wrong?”
I understand everyone wants to make a few extra dollars here and there, but normally, people WORK for tips, they are not EXPECTED. Trust me, I use to be a waitress, I know the pain of working your ass off to please your customer and they leave you a crappy tip. And, I am not one of those calculating customers. If someone does a really good job, I give them a really good tip. The calculating customers were the best. I loved it when they busted out the calculator. Heaven forbid they give me 1-penny over 15% or 20%. And, even as a RN, I have had many patients want to give me tips; which is really funny, because it’s my job to take care of them. I’m not going to take any better or worse care of them if they “tip”me. They could never understand why I wouldn’t take the tip. I tried to explain the whole “…because it’s my job to take care of you” concept, but it ultimately came down to me telling them it was illegal just to get them off my back. I did appreciate the gesture though.
I just have a really hard time tipping someone who doesn’t do anything to earn it. I think the coffee tenders are the worse. I mean if they make me a Grande Café Mocha Slim Jim Double with whipped cream, then yes, I will gladly give them $1 for putting the steamer in the cup and stirring it after they added all the necessary ingredients, even though my 6-year-old daughter could probably do the same thing. BUT, I am not going to give them an extra penny for pouring me a cup of coffee out of a pot, and handing it to me.
Is anyone else annoyed by this, or is it just my hormones raging out of control again?
Has anyone else noticed how expensive it is to eat carry out food these days? We started doing the carryout thing instead of dining in at the restaurants just to save a few extra dollars. I’m not cheap or anything, but if I can save $5 or $10 dollars by cutting out the tip, then that is $5 or $10 extra dollars I have in my wallet.
However, I have recently had some disturbing experiences with the whole carry out thing. It seems like everyone wants a tip for everything these days. We placed a “curbside” to-go order the other night, and I went to pick it up. When I got there, I handed the girl my debit card. When I looked at the receipt I noticed there was a “tip” line. I, of course, put $0.00. I didn’t think the girl deserved a tip for handing me a bag of food. Besides, it wasn’t like they actually even brought it out to my car; I went in and picked it up. Plus, that was the whole point of carry out, was saving money on the tip.
I handed the receipt back to her, and she looked at me with intense disgust. How dare I not tip her 15%? I looked at her and said, “Is something wrong?”
I understand everyone wants to make a few extra dollars here and there, but normally, people WORK for tips, they are not EXPECTED. Trust me, I use to be a waitress, I know the pain of working your ass off to please your customer and they leave you a crappy tip. And, I am not one of those calculating customers. If someone does a really good job, I give them a really good tip. The calculating customers were the best. I loved it when they busted out the calculator. Heaven forbid they give me 1-penny over 15% or 20%. And, even as a RN, I have had many patients want to give me tips; which is really funny, because it’s my job to take care of them. I’m not going to take any better or worse care of them if they “tip”me. They could never understand why I wouldn’t take the tip. I tried to explain the whole “…because it’s my job to take care of you” concept, but it ultimately came down to me telling them it was illegal just to get them off my back. I did appreciate the gesture though.
I just have a really hard time tipping someone who doesn’t do anything to earn it. I think the coffee tenders are the worse. I mean if they make me a Grande Café Mocha Slim Jim Double with whipped cream, then yes, I will gladly give them $1 for putting the steamer in the cup and stirring it after they added all the necessary ingredients, even though my 6-year-old daughter could probably do the same thing. BUT, I am not going to give them an extra penny for pouring me a cup of coffee out of a pot, and handing it to me.
Is anyone else annoyed by this, or is it just my hormones raging out of control again?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
CRIS-CROSS in the CROSS WALK
How many of you remember Kris-Kross? The duo is most famous for their 1992 hit "Jump", and their fashion styling—consisting of wearing their clothes backwards. I loved them! I remember breakin’ it down at the skating rink. But, because I have been blessed with a big bootie my whole life, I never could partake in fashion styling.
This brings me to my latest “pop-off”-CROSS WALKS. I’m sure you all are so ready to hear what I could possibly have to say about cross walks.
First of all let’s start off with a basic lesson. For those of you who might be scratching your head, or other body part thinking, “gee, what is a cross walk”, let me teach you.
A pedestrian crossing or crosswalk is a designated point on a road at which some means are employed to assist pedestrians wishing to cross. They are designed to keep pedestrians together where they can be seen by motorists, and where they can cross most safely with the flow of vehicular traffic. Pedestrian crossings are often at intersections, but may also be at other points on busy roads that would otherwise be perilous to attempt to cross. They are common near schools or in other areas where there are a large number of children. Crosswalks can be considered a traffic calming technique.
Wait! Did that say “traffic calming”? They are definitely not calming in St. Louis. In recent days I have been almost run down twice, while crossing in a cross walk. No one seems to want to stop, or YIELD to the pedestrian. It drives me absolutely insane.
PEOPLE: the wide-colored lines in the road, or the big yellow sign that says PED X-ING, means STOP, or YIELD to pedestrians that may be trying to cross the street.
Contrary to popular belief, cross walks are not special VIP parking spots, and they are not an artistic impression that the street department placed on the pavement for cars to just run over day-to-day. They actually have a purpose; especially when there are people walking on them.
My all-time favorite is when the drivers actually stop and yell some obscenity, or throw some gesture to the ped. NEWS FLASH: The driver is the law breaker, he doesn’t need to be cursing or gesturing at me! C’mon, pull over and say something to my face. Don’t be a coward and throw it out there as you are speeding by!
So, for the love of God, can everyone just slow down and not to play hit the Prego in the cross walk? Oh, and one other request for those of you working at BJH….Quit parking in the damn cross-walks. I often wonder if these particular offenders think, “hmmm, I wonder why this parking spot looks different than all the others. It must be a special spot only for me.” ADDITIONAL NEWS FLASH: Genius…it’s a cross walk, not a parking spot. Those objects that are walking/wheeling in them are also known as humans. They aren’t plain-clothed valets!
WOW…I love hormones. They rock!
This brings me to my latest “pop-off”-CROSS WALKS. I’m sure you all are so ready to hear what I could possibly have to say about cross walks.
First of all let’s start off with a basic lesson. For those of you who might be scratching your head, or other body part thinking, “gee, what is a cross walk”, let me teach you.
A pedestrian crossing or crosswalk is a designated point on a road at which some means are employed to assist pedestrians wishing to cross. They are designed to keep pedestrians together where they can be seen by motorists, and where they can cross most safely with the flow of vehicular traffic. Pedestrian crossings are often at intersections, but may also be at other points on busy roads that would otherwise be perilous to attempt to cross. They are common near schools or in other areas where there are a large number of children. Crosswalks can be considered a traffic calming technique.
Wait! Did that say “traffic calming”? They are definitely not calming in St. Louis. In recent days I have been almost run down twice, while crossing in a cross walk. No one seems to want to stop, or YIELD to the pedestrian. It drives me absolutely insane.
PEOPLE: the wide-colored lines in the road, or the big yellow sign that says PED X-ING, means STOP, or YIELD to pedestrians that may be trying to cross the street.
Contrary to popular belief, cross walks are not special VIP parking spots, and they are not an artistic impression that the street department placed on the pavement for cars to just run over day-to-day. They actually have a purpose; especially when there are people walking on them.
My all-time favorite is when the drivers actually stop and yell some obscenity, or throw some gesture to the ped. NEWS FLASH: The driver is the law breaker, he doesn’t need to be cursing or gesturing at me! C’mon, pull over and say something to my face. Don’t be a coward and throw it out there as you are speeding by!
So, for the love of God, can everyone just slow down and not to play hit the Prego in the cross walk? Oh, and one other request for those of you working at BJH….Quit parking in the damn cross-walks. I often wonder if these particular offenders think, “hmmm, I wonder why this parking spot looks different than all the others. It must be a special spot only for me.” ADDITIONAL NEWS FLASH: Genius…it’s a cross walk, not a parking spot. Those objects that are walking/wheeling in them are also known as humans. They aren’t plain-clothed valets!
WOW…I love hormones. They rock!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Beware: The LSRFAA has moved their convention to Target!
For those of you new to my blog, let’s get this out of the way.
LSRFAA= Lazy Scooter Riding Fat Asses Association
**Disclaimer**I am a RN people! I know that there are medical conditions that prevent people from being able to walk long distances, and that sometimes the scooter is medically necessary. But, obesity is not one of those factors! Exercise is good in this situation! I am in no way, harping on those of you who have a TRUE medical condition and are in need of the scooter. OK! Don’t send me an e-mail about it!
For years, I have been the on-site reporter for the LSRFAA convention which is normally held at the local Wal-Mart. However, my sources now confirm that they have already moved their 2009 convention to Target. The following is hot off the wire.
As I entered through those red-double doors, and grabbed my red carry along basket, I was stopped dead in my tracks. Actually I was stopped by a LSRFAA member that had cut me off on her scooter. I can’t be certain, but I can guess that she was probably well on the 300+ pounds side, which would make her a platinum member.
At that moment, I knew that no place is safe from the LSRFAA! I knew it was my duty to get the inside scoop. Her first hard-right hand turn was into the snacks isle. But, those darn Keebler cookies were on the 4th shelf, which would require her to lift the massive fat from her rear end and stand up. But that would also require movement. I stood there in anticipation…would she do it…did those cookies mean that she would exert physical energy to stand up and get them. …………..No. She tried to reach up with her arm, but it wasn’t quite long enough. She settled for the generic brand cookies, which only required an extension of her forearm from the elbow and a grasp from her hand.
I went along my way, walking through the store. I turned into the shampoo isle. I made the observation that people must run out of shampoo a lot on Sunday, because there were a lot of people in the isle. As I politely excused my way through the isle, I realized why the isle was so congested. The platinum member of the LSRFAA was there, right smack in the middle of the isle refusing to move over to one side or the other. I felt the rage, and the pregnancy hormones begin to rage up inside of me. I said, ‘excuse me can move your scooter, sot he rest of us can get by?” You would have thought that I asked her to get up and walk the rest of the way. I was ready to throw down with this lady! She probably could have taken me by the mere fact that she out-weighed me by about 150 or more lbs.
She did finally manage to maneuver her scooter by the push of a button and ever so slight moves of her upper body. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. Target use to be the one place I could go to escape the LSRFAA members. I have been told by a former member of the LSRFAA that the scooters at Target are higher quality, with upgraded option, like a cup holder for their 44 oz sodas.
LSRFAA= Lazy Scooter Riding Fat Asses Association
**Disclaimer**I am a RN people! I know that there are medical conditions that prevent people from being able to walk long distances, and that sometimes the scooter is medically necessary. But, obesity is not one of those factors! Exercise is good in this situation! I am in no way, harping on those of you who have a TRUE medical condition and are in need of the scooter. OK! Don’t send me an e-mail about it!
For years, I have been the on-site reporter for the LSRFAA convention which is normally held at the local Wal-Mart. However, my sources now confirm that they have already moved their 2009 convention to Target. The following is hot off the wire.
As I entered through those red-double doors, and grabbed my red carry along basket, I was stopped dead in my tracks. Actually I was stopped by a LSRFAA member that had cut me off on her scooter. I can’t be certain, but I can guess that she was probably well on the 300+ pounds side, which would make her a platinum member.
At that moment, I knew that no place is safe from the LSRFAA! I knew it was my duty to get the inside scoop. Her first hard-right hand turn was into the snacks isle. But, those darn Keebler cookies were on the 4th shelf, which would require her to lift the massive fat from her rear end and stand up. But that would also require movement. I stood there in anticipation…would she do it…did those cookies mean that she would exert physical energy to stand up and get them. …………..No. She tried to reach up with her arm, but it wasn’t quite long enough. She settled for the generic brand cookies, which only required an extension of her forearm from the elbow and a grasp from her hand.
I went along my way, walking through the store. I turned into the shampoo isle. I made the observation that people must run out of shampoo a lot on Sunday, because there were a lot of people in the isle. As I politely excused my way through the isle, I realized why the isle was so congested. The platinum member of the LSRFAA was there, right smack in the middle of the isle refusing to move over to one side or the other. I felt the rage, and the pregnancy hormones begin to rage up inside of me. I said, ‘excuse me can move your scooter, sot he rest of us can get by?” You would have thought that I asked her to get up and walk the rest of the way. I was ready to throw down with this lady! She probably could have taken me by the mere fact that she out-weighed me by about 150 or more lbs.
She did finally manage to maneuver her scooter by the push of a button and ever so slight moves of her upper body. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. Target use to be the one place I could go to escape the LSRFAA members. I have been told by a former member of the LSRFAA that the scooters at Target are higher quality, with upgraded option, like a cup holder for their 44 oz sodas.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Run For The Boarder
Have you heard the story of the Rancher in Arizona who is being sued by about 16 illegal Mexican immigrants?
Attorneys for the immigrants, who were trying to enter the US illegally, have accused the rancher of holding them captive at gunpoint, stating he would shoot anyone who tried to escape.
Now, the rancher is “being sued by 16 Mexican nationals who accuse him of conspiring to violate their civil rights when he stopped them at gunpoint on his ranch on the U.S.-Mexico border.
Per the Washington Post “Mr. Barnett told The Washington Times in a 2002 interview that he began rounding up illegal immigrants after they started to vandalize his property, northeast of Douglas along Arizona Highway 80. He said the immigrants tore up water pumps, killed calves, destroyed fences and gates, stole trucks and broke into his home.
Some of his cattle died from ingesting the plastic bottles left behind by the immigrants, he said, adding that he installed a faucet on an 8,000-gallon water tank so the immigrants would stop damaging the tank to get water.
Mr. Barnett said some of the ranch´s established immigrant trails were littered with trash 10 inches deep, including human waste, used toilet paper, soiled diapers, cigarette packs, clothes, backpacks, empty 1-gallon water bottles, chewing-gum wrappers and aluminum foil - which supposedly is used to pack the drugs the immigrant smugglers give their "clients" to keep them running.
“Trial continues Monday in the federal lawsuit, which seeks $32 million in actual and punitive damages for civil rights violations, the infliction of emotional distress and other crimes.”
Ok….what???? When I read this story, I seriously thought it was a spoof. Since when do illegal immigrants have civil rights? I know that I wasn’t a stellar student in High School, but I’m pretty sure the Constitution didn’t grant illegal aliens the same rights as Americans.
Does this mean I can sue the Mexican government, or the owners of the Cancun hotel I stayed in because I drank tainted water? I had some serious emotional distress inflicted upon me. If you ever suffered from Montezuma’s revenge, then you know exactly what I am talking about.
This whole thing is sick and wrong. What has this country really come to? One has right to defend their land and their home. In fact, in Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas there are laws that allow home/land owners to protect their land by shooting anyone who attempts burglarize or destroy their property. I use to live in Texas. Trust me, those cowboys don’t mess around.
Let’s just take the whole illegal immigrant element out of it, and take this situation for instance…..A man breaks into my home in the middle of the night. He doesn’t know that I am a pregnant, hormonal person. I catch him, grab him by his testicles, and squeeze and twist until he sounds like a girl. Does he have the right to sue me for inflicting emotional and physical distress upon him? I fear this is the precedence that will be set.
I in no way believe that this group of illegal border jumpers will ever win. But, imagine the fortune this rancher now has to fork out to hire a defense team.
The group of Mexicans is being defended by the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund (MALDEF). The what? Where is my educational fund? Oh, yes, that would be the student loan, granted to me by the government. But, I have to pay them back for the next 10 years, so it’s really not a fund at all.
As Washington struggles to figure out a way to help and assist Americans, we can feel reassured that there is already an American funded program out there that is going to help and assist these illegal immigrants who are suing Americans when they get busted trying to bust into our country illegally.
Attorneys for the immigrants, who were trying to enter the US illegally, have accused the rancher of holding them captive at gunpoint, stating he would shoot anyone who tried to escape.
Now, the rancher is “being sued by 16 Mexican nationals who accuse him of conspiring to violate their civil rights when he stopped them at gunpoint on his ranch on the U.S.-Mexico border.
Per the Washington Post “Mr. Barnett told The Washington Times in a 2002 interview that he began rounding up illegal immigrants after they started to vandalize his property, northeast of Douglas along Arizona Highway 80. He said the immigrants tore up water pumps, killed calves, destroyed fences and gates, stole trucks and broke into his home.
Some of his cattle died from ingesting the plastic bottles left behind by the immigrants, he said, adding that he installed a faucet on an 8,000-gallon water tank so the immigrants would stop damaging the tank to get water.
Mr. Barnett said some of the ranch´s established immigrant trails were littered with trash 10 inches deep, including human waste, used toilet paper, soiled diapers, cigarette packs, clothes, backpacks, empty 1-gallon water bottles, chewing-gum wrappers and aluminum foil - which supposedly is used to pack the drugs the immigrant smugglers give their "clients" to keep them running.
“Trial continues Monday in the federal lawsuit, which seeks $32 million in actual and punitive damages for civil rights violations, the infliction of emotional distress and other crimes.”
Ok….what???? When I read this story, I seriously thought it was a spoof. Since when do illegal immigrants have civil rights? I know that I wasn’t a stellar student in High School, but I’m pretty sure the Constitution didn’t grant illegal aliens the same rights as Americans.
Does this mean I can sue the Mexican government, or the owners of the Cancun hotel I stayed in because I drank tainted water? I had some serious emotional distress inflicted upon me. If you ever suffered from Montezuma’s revenge, then you know exactly what I am talking about.
This whole thing is sick and wrong. What has this country really come to? One has right to defend their land and their home. In fact, in Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas there are laws that allow home/land owners to protect their land by shooting anyone who attempts burglarize or destroy their property. I use to live in Texas. Trust me, those cowboys don’t mess around.
Let’s just take the whole illegal immigrant element out of it, and take this situation for instance…..A man breaks into my home in the middle of the night. He doesn’t know that I am a pregnant, hormonal person. I catch him, grab him by his testicles, and squeeze and twist until he sounds like a girl. Does he have the right to sue me for inflicting emotional and physical distress upon him? I fear this is the precedence that will be set.
I in no way believe that this group of illegal border jumpers will ever win. But, imagine the fortune this rancher now has to fork out to hire a defense team.
The group of Mexicans is being defended by the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund (MALDEF). The what? Where is my educational fund? Oh, yes, that would be the student loan, granted to me by the government. But, I have to pay them back for the next 10 years, so it’s really not a fund at all.
As Washington struggles to figure out a way to help and assist Americans, we can feel reassured that there is already an American funded program out there that is going to help and assist these illegal immigrants who are suing Americans when they get busted trying to bust into our country illegally.
Monday, February 9, 2009
I LUV U. COM
Thank God for the “dot com’s” of the world. If it weren’t for Al Gore and “his” internet, millions and millions of people would still be without love. Ok, maybe not millions, but there are quite a few people who have found love on the Information Super Highway. And, by love, I don’t mean a mail-order bride from Russia. I mean, real love. People, who might not get the chance to connect, find themselves connected via IM or chat rooms.
Now, for those of you who think internet dating is next to advertising yourself as a call girl, I say, “you just wish you could advertise yourself as a call girl”. Honestly, I have lots of upstanding, well-educated friends who have found that their busy lifestyle doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for meeting new people. They find it easier to come home and throw on their comfy clothes, fix a mug of hot tea, and sit down to sift through the millions of eligible bachelors (and bachelorette) that this world has to offer.
Of course, there is always great advice that I want to give, which is the true meaning of The Rock Pop. For what it’s worth, I am fully qualified to give dating advice. After all, I have been in an 8-year relationship with absolutely no commitment. I would say that damn near makes me an expert….right?
On-line dating can be scary. You really don’t know anything about the person behind the keyboard. Listen to the song “Much Cooler Online” By Brad Paisley. It nicely encompasses what you are about to get into. Additionally, I have compiled a Top 10 list of red-flags that one should be aware of when meeting people dating. Keep in mind, these instances are not made up, these things actually happened to people I know. I have only concealed the names of those involved so they are not embarrassed, or stalked.
10. During your first phone conversation, he talks about the babies you two will make together. He even hopes you will have twins!
9. He calls you at 7:30 AM while on his way to work, on the morning after your first phone conversation. He then subsequently calls your cell phone every hour on they hour until you answer.
8. He is a perfect gentleman on the first date. You have great conversation and even set up some boundaries by saying “I really would like to take things slow”. He then sends you a text message the next day and says “I miss you, will you be my Valentine?”
7. He lives more than 50 miles away from you, and says he travels a lot, so he likes long-distance relationships.
6. There is no profile picture posted.
5. The pictures he has posted are taken self-taken on his camera phone via the reflection in his mirror. Did I mention that he is shirtless and flexing his muscles?
4. During your initial conversations he calls his x-wife a slutty, hoe-bag, “c-word” who for some strange reason filed a “false” restraining order against him.
3. A couple of nights before you first date he calls you, intoxicated, on his way home from the bar. Did I mention its midnight, and you have to work in the morning?
2. He wants you to send more pictures of yourself to his e-mail. He requests they be a bit more revealing.
1. He has never met you, nor talked to you on the phone. But, your profile picture is like a movie-projector playing over and over in his mind.
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Curse of the Compassionate Comforter
This is another installment of "Men Behaving Badly"
Have you ever had such intense pain (not including labor), that you seriously thought you were going to die? About the end of the first quarter in last night's Superbowl, I began to feel this odd pain in the right upper quadrant of my abdomen. It shot through to my upper back. It was gnawing, and aching. As the game went on, so did the pain in my stomach. As a nurse, I knew the symptoms where pretty consistent with what seemed to be some issue with my gallbladder. However as a 17 week pregnant woman, I just wanted to whine and cry until someone took notice.
I have these issues since I was 18. I distinctly remember the first "gallbladder attack" I had. I was sitting in typing class when it hit me. It was completely agonizing, and so was the typing class. At any rate, I pretty much know what I should do to prevent these types of occurrences from happening. Eating hot wings, chips and salsa, and taquitos drenched in sour cream is not one of them.Women are usually seen as comforters, and compassionate individuals. Since I am a nurse, I am obviously compassionate to individuals who are ill, or need help...because I am certainly not in it for the salary. I can remember when I was sick as a child, something about my mothers voice, and her rubbing my head and back always made me feel so much better.
So what is one supposed to do when they are 31 years old, and have probably the worse pain they have ever had in their whole life? While any standard narcotic would do the trick, I unfortunately do not have any spare Vicodin lying around, and I don't have a drug dealer. I need a different plan. Unfortunately, I think my mother would frown upon me dropping by, curling upon her couch in the fetal position, while sticking my thumb in my mouth. But, that is just me. Some of you may do that, and hey..more power to you! I think a big dose of compassion and perhaps a nice comforting back rub would do the trick. But where can you find that these days?
Significant others....hmmmmm....there's a thought. If you are a male reading this then the thought is legit for you. If you are female...I guess you just out of luck. Unless, of course, you have a closet homosexual for a sig-o, or he is a metro-sexual. I guess he could also be that 1% of males who knows what compassion is, and how to show it.
All we really want is for our men to ask us what they can do, sit down next to us, maybe rub our backs a little. I am not talking a full out Swedish massage. I don't know about all of you out there but anytime I want a little back-rub, he wants some BIG reward for doing it, or he is so aggravated that I asked him to do it that he puts no effort into it.
Even if you don't care that our insides feel like they are about to be regurgitated, at least act like it. And, if you are bad actor...get some acting lessons, or just watch a couple episodes of Days of Our Lives and you will be a compassionate comforter in no time at all.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Not only am I Rock Star...I am a Pro Football Tackle Person
It's good to be back. Thanks to all of you who have followed along my journey through life, and have now continued on. I hope you are not disappointed, although I don't think you will be.
Yesterday started out like any normal morning in my house. Everyone rushing around to get ready because none of us are morning people. I ever so carefully walk out to the garage, as there is still tons of frozen snow. Mother Nature shovels our snow for us, and she just hasn't gotten around to it yet, so the backyard is an accident waiting to happen.
As I start my car I try to open the garage door so I don't kill anyone with the carbon monoxide. But, it's stuck....that darn Mother Nature. I yell out to James that he will actually have to use that thing with the handle on it, called a shovel to get the garage open.
During the interim, I decide I will also start the Jeep for James (I'm soo sweet aren't I?) I was so caught up in my own sweetness that I forget to shut the gait behind me....this is where it gets interesting.
Our wonderful Siberian Husky, Aspen, decided to sneak out the gait that I had just left open for her. I was still thinking about how nice and sweet I was when I noticed the gait was open. I look down the back alley and there is Aspen running as if she is in the Alaskan back country pulling a sled with her brothers and sisters.
The ONE thing Husky dog owners will tell you is....NEVER, NEVER LET A HUSKY OFF THEIR LEASH...THEY WON'T COME BACK. These dogs are born to pull sleds...forever and ever.
I freak out and start screaming like the aliens have arrived from outer space and our perched above our home. I run, yes run, on the ice covered sidewalk back into the house to grab the leash and James. I guess he doesn't believe in aliens, or didn't get too excited because he kind of looked at me like I was crazy. With that, my pregnant, raging hormones kick in,my eyes to red, and my head does a 360...but only once.
I take of running....yes, running down the icy alley yelling for Aspen. I catch her with the Beagle about a block down. She starts to run toward me, and I think, "Oh, well this is easy". At the last second she makes a quick move to the left. I go after her. She stops. I stop. We stare each other down. She then starts to run past me again. I think to myself, "Jodi, it's now or never!"
As she is running toward me I get into football mode. Hey, I use to be a cheerleader for football...it's the same thing, trust me. Everything seemed to go in slow motion from this point. Aspen is getting closer...she fakes right..she fakes left...and I make a spectacular dive, grabbing her around her torso. YES!!! I AM VICTORIOUS! I am also 17 weeks pregnant.
As I look up from the bank of snow, I have just tackled my dog in, I see James WALKING across the street with the leash. He says, "Nice dive...but you need to remember to shut the gait behind you when you go out of it!" For real...I think my head spun around 10 times. I just made the most spectacular tackle. It was probably better than anything you would see on a high-light real.
I spent the rest of the day hooked onto a Toco (not Taco..although that woud have been just as lovely) monitor and Fetal Heart Monitor. I'm sure Junior was really excited to go on that journey with me, but it will be a great story to tell him (or her) when she is older. "Yes, your mother is rock star with football-like capabilities, and you father is slow and doesn't get excited about anything." Love is bliss!
Yesterday started out like any normal morning in my house. Everyone rushing around to get ready because none of us are morning people. I ever so carefully walk out to the garage, as there is still tons of frozen snow. Mother Nature shovels our snow for us, and she just hasn't gotten around to it yet, so the backyard is an accident waiting to happen.
As I start my car I try to open the garage door so I don't kill anyone with the carbon monoxide. But, it's stuck....that darn Mother Nature. I yell out to James that he will actually have to use that thing with the handle on it, called a shovel to get the garage open.
During the interim, I decide I will also start the Jeep for James (I'm soo sweet aren't I?) I was so caught up in my own sweetness that I forget to shut the gait behind me....this is where it gets interesting.
Our wonderful Siberian Husky, Aspen, decided to sneak out the gait that I had just left open for her. I was still thinking about how nice and sweet I was when I noticed the gait was open. I look down the back alley and there is Aspen running as if she is in the Alaskan back country pulling a sled with her brothers and sisters.The ONE thing Husky dog owners will tell you is....NEVER, NEVER LET A HUSKY OFF THEIR LEASH...THEY WON'T COME BACK. These dogs are born to pull sleds...forever and ever.
I freak out and start screaming like the aliens have arrived from outer space and our perched above our home. I run, yes run, on the ice covered sidewalk back into the house to grab the leash and James. I guess he doesn't believe in aliens, or didn't get too excited because he kind of looked at me like I was crazy. With that, my pregnant, raging hormones kick in,my eyes to red, and my head does a 360...but only once.
I take of running....yes, running down the icy alley yelling for Aspen. I catch her with the Beagle about a block down. She starts to run toward me, and I think, "Oh, well this is easy". At the last second she makes a quick move to the left. I go after her. She stops. I stop. We stare each other down. She then starts to run past me again. I think to myself, "Jodi, it's now or never!"
As she is running toward me I get into football mode. Hey, I use to be a cheerleader for football...it's the same thing, trust me. Everything seemed to go in slow motion from this point. Aspen is getting closer...she fakes right..she fakes left...and I make a spectacular dive, grabbing her around her torso. YES!!! I AM VICTORIOUS! I am also 17 weeks pregnant.
As I look up from the bank of snow, I have just tackled my dog in, I see James WALKING across the street with the leash. He says, "Nice dive...but you need to remember to shut the gait behind you when you go out of it!" For real...I think my head spun around 10 times. I just made the most spectacular tackle. It was probably better than anything you would see on a high-light real.
I spent the rest of the day hooked onto a Toco (not Taco..although that woud have been just as lovely) monitor and Fetal Heart Monitor. I'm sure Junior was really excited to go on that journey with me, but it will be a great story to tell him (or her) when she is older. "Yes, your mother is rock star with football-like capabilities, and you father is slow and doesn't get excited about anything." Love is bliss!
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