Beware: The LSRFAA has moved their convention to Target!

For those of you new to my blog, let’s get this out of the way.

LSRFAA= Lazy Scooter Riding Fat Asses Association

**Disclaimer**I am a RN people! I know that there are medical conditions that prevent people from being able to walk long distances, and that sometimes the scooter is medically necessary. But, obesity is not one of those factors! Exercise is good in this situation! I am in no way, harping on those of you who have a TRUE medical condition and are in need of the scooter. OK! Don’t send me an e-mail about it!

For years, I have been the on-site reporter for the LSRFAA convention which is normally held at the local Wal-Mart. However, my sources now confirm that they have already moved their 2009 convention to Target. The following is hot off the wire.

As I entered through those red-double doors, and grabbed my red carry along basket, I was stopped dead in my tracks. Actually I was stopped by a LSRFAA member that had cut me off on her scooter. I can’t be certain, but I can guess that she was probably well on the 300+ pounds side, which would make her a platinum member.

At that moment, I knew that no place is safe from the LSRFAA! I knew it was my duty to get the inside scoop. Her first hard-right hand turn was into the snacks isle. But, those darn Keebler cookies were on the 4th shelf, which would require her to lift the massive fat from her rear end and stand up. But that would also require movement. I stood there in anticipation…would she do it…did those cookies mean that she would exert physical energy to stand up and get them. …………..No. She tried to reach up with her arm, but it wasn’t quite long enough. She settled for the generic brand cookies, which only required an extension of her forearm from the elbow and a grasp from her hand.

I went along my way, walking through the store. I turned into the shampoo isle. I made the observation that people must run out of shampoo a lot on Sunday, because there were a lot of people in the isle. As I politely excused my way through the isle, I realized why the isle was so congested. The platinum member of the LSRFAA was there, right smack in the middle of the isle refusing to move over to one side or the other. I felt the rage, and the pregnancy hormones begin to rage up inside of me. I said, ‘excuse me can move your scooter, sot he rest of us can get by?” You would have thought that I asked her to get up and walk the rest of the way. I was ready to throw down with this lady! She probably could have taken me by the mere fact that she out-weighed me by about 150 or more lbs.

She did finally manage to maneuver her scooter by the push of a button and ever so slight moves of her upper body. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. Target use to be the one place I could go to escape the LSRFAA members. I have been told by a former member of the LSRFAA that the scooters at Target are higher quality, with upgraded option, like a cup holder for their 44 oz sodas.