I LUV U. COM

Thank God for the “dot com’s” of the world. If it weren’t for Al Gore and “his” internet, millions and millions of people would still be without love. Ok, maybe not millions, but there are quite a few people who have found love on the Information Super Highway. And, by love, I don’t mean a mail-order bride from Russia. I mean, real love. People, who might not get the chance to connect, find themselves connected via IM or chat rooms.

Now, for those of you who think internet dating is next to advertising yourself as a call girl, I say, “you just wish you could advertise yourself as a call girl”. Honestly, I have lots of upstanding, well-educated friends who have found that their busy lifestyle doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for meeting new people. They find it easier to come home and throw on their comfy clothes, fix a mug of hot tea, and sit down to sift through the millions of eligible bachelors (and bachelorette) that this world has to offer.

Of course, there is always great advice that I want to give, which is the true meaning of The Rock Pop. For what it’s worth, I am fully qualified to give dating advice. After all, I have been in an 8-year relationship with absolutely no commitment. I would say that damn near makes me an expert….right?

On-line dating can be scary. You really don’t know anything about the person behind the keyboard. Listen to the song “Much Cooler Online” By Brad Paisley. It nicely encompasses what you are about to get into. Additionally, I have compiled a Top 10 list of red-flags that one should be aware of when meeting people dating. Keep in mind, these instances are not made up, these things actually happened to people I know. I have only concealed the names of those involved so they are not embarrassed, or stalked.


10. During your first phone conversation, he talks about the babies you two will make together. He even hopes you will have twins!

9. He calls you at 7:30 AM while on his way to work, on the morning after your first phone conversation. He then subsequently calls your cell phone every hour on they hour until you answer.

8. He is a perfect gentleman on the first date. You have great conversation and even set up some boundaries by saying “I really would like to take things slow”. He then sends you a text message the next day and says “I miss you, will you be my Valentine?”

7. He lives more than 50 miles away from you, and says he travels a lot, so he likes long-distance relationships.

6. There is no profile picture posted.

5. The pictures he has posted are taken self-taken on his camera phone via the reflection in his mirror. Did I mention that he is shirtless and flexing his muscles?

4. During your initial conversations he calls his x-wife a slutty, hoe-bag, “c-word” who for some strange reason filed a “false” restraining order against him.

3. A couple of nights before you first date he calls you, intoxicated, on his way home from the bar. Did I mention its midnight, and you have to work in the morning?

2. He wants you to send more pictures of yourself to his e-mail. He requests they be a bit more revealing.

1. He has never met you, nor talked to you on the phone. But, your profile picture is like a movie-projector playing over and over in his mind.